


Once, Twice, Three Times a Broshie

by orphan_account



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, bro sex, double teaming, jonny makes bad life choices, kaner is a genius, warnings for broshie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-13
Updated: 2012-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-07 16:19:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/433092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I can't believe I'm actually calling it that, but I REALLY can't believe I wrote this in the first place. Yesterday I called for prompts and Puckling said 'KANER/TAZER/BROSHIE, GO!' and this...is the result. Kaner convinces Tazer that a threesome with TJ will be a totally awesome idea. Tazer ponders the choices in his life that have led him to this point.</p><p>Except really it's just bro porn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once, Twice, Three Times a Broshie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [puckling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puckling/gifts).



> Disclaimer: obviously this is all fiction, and has no bearing on the real lives of any of the people who share the same names as the characters. I'm not claiming that this is true, and I'm not making any money off of this. WHO WOULD PAY ME FOR THIS NONSENSE?

“Come on, Tazer,” Kaner grins, wide and sleazy. His voice is low, dirty and convincing, and Jonny kind of wants to smack him in the mouth. “It’d be awesome.”  
  
“No,” Jonny says flatly. “No way.”  
  
Kaner’s voice manages to get even filthier. “You’ve already  fucked  him, man. I don’t see what the problem is.”  
  
Jonny’s cheeks heat up. “I didn’t fuck TJ,” he says tightly. “Would you shut up about it?”  
  
Kaner looks surprised. “What, did he fuck  you ? Wow, Jonny, you really  were  more fun in college, I can’t-”  
  
“No!” Jonny snaps, a little horrified. “Jesus, no, TJ didn’t fuck me. No one fucked anyone.”  
  
Kaner looks at him skeptically. “That’s not the way I hear it.”  
  
“Oshie’s full of shit, then,” Jonny mutters. “We - we got drunk and stoned and fooled around a few times. And then I’d remember who he was and fucking stop.” Okay, that was technically a lie. He’d come, and then he’d stop. He had his priorities right.  
  
Well, okay, _ fine_, he’d get TJ to come too before stopping. Whatever. He was a fucking gentleman.  
  
Kaner just looks disturbingly gleeful. “Did you touch Oshie’s dick when he had blond highlights in his hair?” he asks, climbing over Jonny and pushing him into the couch. “ _Did you?”_  
  
“Oh fuck off,” Jonny says without heat. The answer is probably yes. He made a lot of questionable life choices during that one year of college. He doesn’t really like to think about it.  
  
He puts his hands on the waist of his _ current  _questionable life choice, and digs his thumbs into hard muscle. Kaner’s obviously horny, obviously into the idea of him and Oshie and Jonny together. It’s completely ridiculous. Jonny has no idea how this is his life.  
  
“Why do you even _ want  _to?” he asks, looking up into Kaner’s face. “You don’t actually really like TJ, remember.”  
  
Kaner shrugs. His lips are shiny, and his hair’s a little wet from the shower he’d just had, curling damply at his forehead and neck. He looks, Jonny thinks grudgingly, pretty good. For him.  
  
“I don’t hate Oshie,” he says generously. “I’d probably like him more if he was sucking on my _ dick_.”  
  
“Fuck, Kaner,” Jonny groans, closing his eyes. Kaner just laughs.  
  
“Seriously, Jonny, when it comes to hot gay threesomes with my boyfriend, Oshie’s, like, the most likely candidate. Right?”  
  
Yeah, Jonny can’t even argue. TJ’s single, and he’s kind of a slut. He’d probably be totally up for it.  
  
“You would have to get me pretty fucking wasted if you wanted me to go there again,” he says, a little breathlessly, because Kaner’s started sucking wetly at his neck. He gives him a bit of teeth, right at the base of his throat, and then looks up, eyes gleaming.  
  
“Challenge accepted,” he says, and Jonny knows he should probably just accept defeat there and then.  
  
“Christ,” he mutters. “What are you _ doing  _to me, Kaner?”  
  
“Right now?” Kaner licks his lips and starts pushing at Jonny’s sweats. Jonny lifts his ass up to help, because he is a weak, weak man when it comes to Patrick Kane and his mouth. “Right now I figured I’d suck your cock while you tell me all about you and Oshie fucking around.” He smiles triumphantly as Jonny’s breath hitches. “And then after that I think I’m gonna jerk off on your face and imagine what it’d look like if Oshie was doing it too.”  
  
Jonny bites his bottom lip.  Fucking  Kaner.  
  
“What - what do you wanna hear?”  
  
Kaner settles between Jonny’s legs and takes hold of his cock, mouthing wetly at the head for a moment and making Jonny moan, before looking up through his lashes and answering.  
  
“You can start by telling me if he’s as good at this as he looks like he is,” he says, and then he’s back on Jonny’s dick, and Jonny’s closing his eyes, remembering one long, hazy night when TJ had sucked him off for what felt like hours, not letting him come until he was almost passing out with need.  
  
Yeah. It had been pretty damned good.  
  
He swallows, and starts talking.  
  
~  
  
Jonny can’t remember the last time he was this drunk. He’s not completely wasted - on a scale he’s probably somewhere between ‘Kane night out’ and ‘Cup celebration’ - but he is a long way from sober. His head’s spinning lazily and everything seems a bit dreamy and unreal.  
  
And also, Kaner and TJ are making out with each other next to him on the bed.  
  
“This is such a bad idea,” Jonny mutters, even though he’s palming his cock through his jeans as he watches, no intention in hell of stopping. “Worst idea.”  
  
“Best idea,” Kaner corrects, pulling away from TJ to leer at him. “Tell him, Teej.”  
  
“Come on, Tazer.” TJ looks pretty happy, lying on his back with Kaner braced over him, pushing him into the pillows. He turns his head, and his big, dumb smile and stupid hair are inches from Jonny’s face. “Admit it,” he adds. “You’re having fun.”  
  
Jonny’s having so much fun. He’s not about to tell them that, though.  
  
“God, you both look so dumb,” he grins instead. “My taste in men fucking sucks.”  
  
They don’t look anything at all alike, but they still manage to both give him the exact same disbelieving stare.  
  
“Whatever,” Kaner says dismissively. “You’re basically gagging for it right now. I know you.”  
  
“Yeah, I remember that look, Jonny,” TJ chimes in, before lifting his head up to bite at Kaner’s bottom lip, drawing him back down for more kissing.   
  
Jonny doesn’t know what he’d expected, but it hadn’t been the two of them essentially ganging up on him and running the show.  
  
He’s not gonna start complaining, though.  
  
After a few more minutes of sloppy, wet making out - it shouldn’t be hot, but fuck, they’d pretty much ruined Jonny for normal standards of sexiness by now so he was really fucking turned on - Kaner breaks away, leaning over Jonny.  
  
“Kiss me,” he demands, and doesn’t wait for Jonny to respond before pressing their mouths together. He tastes like vodka and M&Ms and and TJ Oshie. Jonny groans, acutely aware of being watched, of TJ’s faces inches away, his stupid mouth hanging open. Kaner’s still straddling him, still has one hand on his cheek as he kisses Jonny. Jonny shifts restlessly. He wants - he -   
  
“Now kiss TJ,” Kaner says instantly, smirking. “Okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jonny says softly. Yeah, that’s what he wants. He turns his head and, TJ licks his lips.  
  
“Hey,” he says, smiling a little.  
  
“Hey,” Jonny says back dopily, and TJ rolls his eyes.  
  
“God, come here.”  
  
Jonny does as he’s told.  
  
Kissing TJ is basically the same as he remembers, right down to the taste of hard liquor and the vaguely illicit feeling. Having Kaner there does add a certain something, though. An extra layer of sleaze, maybe.  
  
“Oh my god,” Kaner mutters above the, pushing his fingers against their mouths, getting in the way. “That’s so fucking hot.” He leans down, kisses Jonny again, and then TJ, tries to kiss both at once, which just straight up doesn’t work.  
  
“Off, Kaner,” TJ says eventually. “Go on the other side of Jonny.”  
  
Kaner doesn’t argue, which is a miracle, and then Jonny’s surrounded, letting them take turns kissing him, nuzzling his neck, running clumsy, eager hands up and down his body.  
  
“Is this how this is gonna go?” he asks after a while, gasping the words out as TJ sucks at the sensitive spot where his neck meets his shoulder. “You two double teaming me?”  
  
Yeah, he’s definitely drunk. He would never have given them an opening like that if he was sober.  
  
They stop what they’re doing and grin at each other. Jonny groans, but it’s pretty half-hearted. He’d be pretty fucking up for that, actually.  
  
“Can we?” Kaner asks sweetly. “Please, Jonny?”  
  
“Say yes,” TJ says into his neck. Jonny thinks it’s his hand pushing its way into his jeans, but he’s starting to lose track.  
  
He closes his eyes, and thinks fuck it.  
  
“Yeah,” he says hoarsely. “Shit yeah.”  
  
He doesn’t see it, but he’s almost positive they high five each other over his body.  
  
~  
  
Kaner gets to fuck him first, because he’s got seniority on account of being Jonny’s boyfriend, and having done it before, and also because he’s won a Cup and TJ hasn’t.  
  
As he explains to TJ, while slowly, torturously fingering Jonny open.  
  
“What the fuck does the Cup have to do with it?” TJ asks, pushing his own fingers in and out of Jonny’s mouth. Jonny’s...having trouble following the thread of the conversation, actually.  
  
“Nothing, just felt like mentioning it,” Kaner says like an asshole. Jonny’s totally gonna call him on it, too, but then he’s kneeling up between Jonny’s legs and he’s got the condom on and oh, fuck, _ fuck_.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re with this douchebag, Tazer,” TJ says amiably, and then he’s kneeling as well, up next to Jonny’s head and yeah, Jonny remembers this alright. If sucking TJ’s dick was an Olympic sport, he’d probably beat Kaner to the gold in that, as well.   
  
“Shut up, I’m letting you spit roast my boyfriend, aren’t I?” Kaner says, and then he’s pushing in, and TJ’s kind of laughing as he nudges the head of his cock between Jonny’s lips and Jonny’s...Jonny’s loving this way more than he’ll ever, _ ever  _admit.  
  
Kaner’s not particularly gentle, he never is when he gets to fuck Jonny. Too eager, too hot for it, a little rough and clumsy. Jonny’s into it, though, likes the painful edge, likes that Kaner never bothers being delicate with him. Knows he can take it. He grabs Jonny’s thighs and goes for it, keeping up a running commentary about how hot it is, how good Jonny looks with TJ’s dick in his mouth, how amazing it all feels.  
  
“He ever shut up?” TJ grunts, and then pulls Kaner into a really fucking dirty kiss, his cock pushing across Jonny’s lips and smearing precome over his cheeks as he loses the angle. Jonny tries to lick at it as best he can, but he’s not too worried. That’s not endgame for TJ, he doesn’t need to make it good. TJ’s just waiting for Kaner to finish so he can take his turn.  
  
The thought is so sexy that Jonny whimpers to himself, pumping his leaking cock a few times.  
  
“Boys,” he says stupidly. “Fuck - fuck yeah, _ do  _it.” Like he’s in charge here, even a little bit.  
  
Seriously, though, he can’t believe he’s being fucked by two guys who needed solid convincing to take their baseball caps off before trying to make out.  
  
“Come on, Kaner,” TJ mumbles, and shit, he’s moving down the bed to kneel behind Kaner, holding him and whispering in his ear. “Come on, give me a go, fucking come. I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”  
  
“It’s pretty amazing, bro,” Kaner says smugly, even though Jonny can tell he’s getting close.  
  
TJ bites his neck, twists his nipple, pushes a hand down to feel at where Kaner’s fuckng into Jonny. Jonny moans, feeling a finger trying to slip in next to Kaner’s cock.  
  
“TJ, fuck,” he gasps, and then Kaner’s dropping his head back against TJ’s shoulder and coming, his whole body shaking with it.  
  
“My turn,” TJ says immediately, and he’s rolling the condom on before Kaner even pulls out. Kaner does so, barely managing to tie off his own condom before tossing it...somewhere, and collapsing next to Jonny.  
  
And then - Christ, TJ’s pushing in slow and easy, opening him up again. He goes deep, leaning over Jonny to whisper in his ear.  
  
“Fuck, that feels awesome, man. I’ve wanted to do this for ages, you were always such a fuckin’ cocktease.”  
  
Next to them, Kaner laughs, taking Jonny’s dick in his hand and stroking it lazily. “Aww, you didn’t put out for Teej?” he asks, all amused.  
  
Jonny grits his teeth. “Both of you shut the fuck up and get me off,” he says, but judging from the way they both just keep laughing at him, he’s not particularly convincing..  
  
He tries a different tack, looking up at TJ, his dumb hair all wet and curling with sweat, his red cheeks. “TJ,” Jonny whispers, blinking slowly. “Please?”  
  
TJ looks like he’s been hit over the back of the head with a brick.   
  
Yeah, Jonny thinks as he starts to get fucked in earnest. That’ll do it.  
  
TJ does not last for a very long time.  
  
Thankfully, though, he’s a bro, and he makes sure Jonny gets off before following him over the edge. He fucks Jonny really hard and really deep, gasping and moaning and squeezing his eyes shut as Kaner jerks Jonny off.  
  
“Come on,” he says over and over, “Oh fuck, Tazer, shit, come on, _ come_.”  
  
It feels so fucking good, especially with Kaner next to him, kissing him, pumping his cock.  
  
“You look really good like this, Jonny,” Kaner whispers in his ear. “Next time we _ will  _fucking come on your face, I want that. You want it to. Fuck, just let go...”  
  
And Jonny comes with a soft grunt, burying his face in Kaner’s neck and feeling TJ stiffen and tense, fingers digging bruises into his thighs.  
  
“Shit, TJ,” Kaner says softly, and then TJ’s pulling out, collapsing on the other side of Kaner and panting, letting Kaner wiggle around and kiss him a bit.  
  
“That was pretty cool,” Kaner says eventually, flopping onto his back and putting his arms around Jonny and TJ. “Fuck yeah. Right?”  
  
“Shut up, Kaner,” TJ and Jonny say at the same time, and then smile at each other. Kaner looks affronted.  
  
“You assholes should show some fucking gratitude, you know. I’m the one who orchestrated this whole thing.”  
  
“Next time,” Jonny says to TJ, ignoring Kaner completely. “Let’s fuck Kaner. Shoving a dick in his mouth is about the only way to get him to shut the fuck up.”  
  
“...hey,” says Kaner softly, but he’s grinning, so Jonny doesn’t think he’s really opposed to the idea. He and TJ fistbump, and then Jonny stretches and gets up.  
  
“I’m taking a shower. If I get back and either of you are wearing a baseball cap...” he frowns sternly at them.   
  
They just smile back at him sweetly. They look like a pair of complete assholes. Jonny sighs and heads to the bathroom.  
  
His taste in men totally does suck.  
  
But that’s okay. He thinks he can live with it.  
  
  
  



End file.
